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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 18, 2017
"President Rat" Rat: I know a lot of you didn't think I'd be a serious President. That I'd be too distracted by petty concerns. Well, I'm not. In my first 100 days. I will take on all the big issues facing this county. Man: What first, sir? Rat: No more pineapple on pizza. Man: I see. Rat: Eating it will be a felony.
It should be a felony. Only meat and cheese on pizza.