Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for April 29, 2013
ask mr. questionable dear mr. questionable, what is pollen anyway? i really hate it. -really hates pollen dear h.p., pollen, also known as tree dander, flower soot & shrub schmutz, is that little floaty stuff that gets up your nose & makes you miserable and turns your car yellow. when dino-saurs roamed the earth some time ago pollen often got as large as decorative throw cushions! yikes! hope this helps! dear mr. questionable, my child, age 5 1/2, always smells like styrofoam. why? -arlington mom dear a.m., she could be artificial. have you checked? read my book "coping with relatives who smell fakey." dear mr. questionable, is "cankersaur" a funny name for a dinosaur? - wondering in d.c. dear wondering, and how! dear carolyn, my fiance hates my new boyfriend. they fight constantly! what should i do? -on the wrong page dear o.w.p., i'd laugh real hard. see my new book "coping with the misfortunes of others through laughter." dear mr. questionable, i got my cat fixed and now when i put it in neutral it makes a funny noise, like "rrangharghangarngh." what's wrong? -cat owner dear c.o., it's diettary or the idle's set too low. is the cat foreign or domesticated? rrangargangarng style local woman turns forty ointment
Cankersaurs once roamed the Earth. We’ll never know why they got wiped out.