Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 07, 2023
Transcript:
spring vermin a brief guide rat: everyone would love me if my tail was fuzzy. rats as big as cats range - there's one under your chair description - large & rat-like. those damn hoppy bugs that always jump right at you range - your basement. description - too horrifying to behold. little drop-kick sweater dogs range - the end of some old lady's leash. description - some of them wear little matching hats, too. (the dogs.) frogs with extra legs range - all-you-can-eat french restaurants. description - tastes just like mutated chicken. canadian romping sloths free-ranging. description - a nice change from the common inert sloth until a herd of them move through & flatten your azaleas.
Okay, I admit I’ve had the urge to dropkick some of those little yappy dogs (and maybe the old ladies to which they are attached, too), but I have not done so.
If those Canadian sloths are not slothful, are they really sloths? (By coincidence, I lately viewed some video of people helping real sloths cross the road safely, on that social-networking site. Better than cat videos….)