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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for August 25, 2016
Small children will believe anything you say. The universe started five minutes ago. Everything prior to that is a false history crafted by billions of conspirators. Who worked tirelessly to maintain the illusion. Neat! Once older, they believe nothing you say. This toast is good. No. This toast tastes like what the corporate fascists tell you is good. But there's this liminal moment, right in between. That's where the real fun happens. Did you know grandpa is so old, he helped design the metric system. No way. Nobody lives that long. Wait... Do they? No... Then how come they named the gram after him? Whoaaaaaaaa.