Ted Rall for November 06, 1999

Transcript:

A new century... a new economy... and an ancient chronometric disaster! Now it's time for global time reform. Under the existing "system" it's 9 in the evening in Seattle at the same time it's 9 in the morning the next day is islambad. Eliminating time zones and the bizarre "international date line" would mean synchronous work and sleep habits for humanity! (Man 1: Allo?) (Man 2: Wake up, sleepybones! Why are you snoozing in the middle of the day.) Because of an Arcane Conceit from the middle ages, residents of the southern hemisphere think it's winter in July? What's that all about? (Man 3: This is crazy- it's 90 in the middle of summer!) (Woman: It's that damned global warming!) Some countries and Arizona even refuse to obey kid-friendly, agribusiness-sponsored daylight- saving time. Let's bomb these saving time. Let's bomb these stone-age throwbacks back to the 20th century! (Man 4: If I didn't live in a state where it gets dark early, I couldn't molest your kids- thanks for your ignorance, saps!) (Kid: Adults in Arizona hate kids!) Under global time reform, say goodbye, adios or whatever to leap days, jet lag and changing the clock on your microwave- we'll pick a time and stick to it! (Woman 2: It's always 10 AM on Monday morning- so I'm always working!) (Man 6: This is so simple!) Global time reform: It's about time.