Ted Rall for October 02, 2000
September 30, 2000
October 05, 2000
Transcript:
The Demographically representative adventures of Debrah Collins, bellwether babe. She was a typical person: A half-german, Caucasian, 34-year-old, middle income, protestant suburbanite from the midwest. And like most Americans, she was a she. (Woman: I feel so... average) Debrah always bought books that became best sellers, voted for candidates who won, and drove cars that remained in production for years. (Man: What can I get you?) (Woman: I got straight C's this semester- I'll have vanilla) Like the America she reflected, she had issues: she was divorced, a social drinker and smoker, and spent every evening watching TV. (WomanThis isn't good, but I just can't stop watching! Weird.) (television: But, honey- we never have sex!) Soon the marketers discovered Debrah's remarkable genericness, and she never had to lift a finger again. They didn't count on one thing, though: (Man 2: Well?) (Woman: Soda "F" tastes like gum. I like it pay me $3 mil.) Her bellwether status went both ways. (Man 3: Next up. The average American is dead. Dave? Dave?)
