Ted Rall for December 23, 2000

Transcript:

In any other country, people of all political persuasions would be outraged to learn that their election had been corrupted. (Man 1: Damn! If I'd known they didn't count the votes, I could've caught an extra hour of television!) In any other country there would be civil disturbances (Woman 1: I voted for Gore, but you know, what can you do?) (Woman 2: Hey, a lot of retailers are having big sales. Let's go buy stuff!) In any other country, justices who conspired with coup plotters would be driven underground. (Man 2: But if I refinance now, what will I do if rates go down again?) In any other country, the rightful winner of the election would fight to the end for the seat from which he'd been cheated. (Man 3: Don't cry for me... I'm gearing for 2004! Assuming they don't cancel that one too) In any other country, chaos and civil war would rage until the illegal usurper left office. (Man 4: Of course it's a great movie! It's got Bridget fonda in it! How could it be anything other than great?) Fortunately, we're too mature for that stuff. (Television: Coming up: the letterbox version of "the patriot")