Cathy Classics by Cathy Guisewite for October 05, 2014

Transcript:

Mr. Pinkley: What did they think of our report? Charlene: They didn't say. Mr. Pinkley: They didn't say?? Charlene: They didn't get it. Mr. Pinkley: They didn't get it?? Charlene: We didn't send it. Mr. Pinkley: We didn't send it?? We missed another deadline?? HOW COULD WE MISS ANOTHER DEADLINE??! Cathy: Nine out of ten employees are within the first six days of a new diet and are in a state of metabolic shock. Four people are withdrawing from caffeine, five are withdrawing from nicotine and two are trying to cope with life without wheat. We have low blood sugar in accounting, iron deficiency in sales, lactose intolerance in marketing, hormone therapy in legal, and a novocaine residue in routing. Throw in the antihistamines, anti-inflammatories, anti-depressants...add the anti-oxidants and who knows what's emitting from the carpets...and the entire office is in a state of chemical imbalance! Ask not why nothing gets done! Ask how anything ever gets done! It's a miracle that we're here! A triumph that we're dressed and sitting upright! Our very presence is an accomplishment extraordinaire!!...Sorry. Alpha-hydroxy rush. Charlene: He wasn't listening. He's in his pre-lunch carbo slump.