Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 07, 2004
"Alphonse, the needy porcupine, is on the phone. He's extremely upset that you punched him in the face just for hugging you. He says that if you don't apologize, he'll jump out his window." "Tell you friend I think he's a big, fat drama queen and that he manufactures crises just to get attention." "...He said what?"