Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 31, 2016

Transcript:

Rat: Hello. I'm Rat and I'm running for President. Face it...you don't have a lot of good choices in this election. So vote for me. Because if elected, I promise to do one thing. "I will hand out free beer helmets to everyone." Rat: This will look generous. But it is a ruse. "Because the helmets of stupid people will be magnetized. And when they are out enjoying their beer helmet, a giant magnetic crane will lift them off the street. And drop them safely on the giant trash heap that floats in the Pacific. We'll be rid of stupid people. And stupid people will think they won a Hawaiian vacation." Woman: A crane just put me here. Goat: Won't stupid people read this and be alerted? Rat: Good news: they don't read. Pig: I'm flying! I'm flying!