Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 18, 2020

Transcript:

the white house easter egg roll a mostly partly true history. probably. the first easter egg roll was held on the capitol grounds by dolly madison, wife of president james madison, in the early 1800's whiz dolly: hey! hey! throwing is not rolling! girl: may we have some snack cakes now? by 1877, congressmen, fed up with screaming kids, ruined lawns & hard-boiled egg debris, ordered capitol police to bar egg-rollers from the grounds. this caused a fuss. cop: scram crowd: aw congress 1: just look at this place! congress 2: there oughta be a law some say that an angry mother marched her kids down pennsylvania avenue & knocked on the white house door to demand that president rutherford b. hayes allow the tiny revelers onto the white house lawn. others say hayes was passing by the capitol, saw all the crying tots & invited them to the white house. rutherford b. hayes either way, the first official white house easter egg roll was held in 1878, hosted by president hayes. ever since, the name "rutherford b. hayes" has been synonymous with "fun" for all of america's children! mostly. kid 1: hurrah for rutherford b. hayes! kid 2: hurrah! hurrah! whiz