Rudy Park by Darrin Bell and Theron Heir for December 18, 2004

Transcript:

"Uncle Mort, Ashton Kutcher's huge SUV has blotted out the sun." "Who the heck is Kutcher?" "He's only, like, one of the coolest dudes in all of Hollywood. He's dating Demi Moore." "The hottie who was married to Bruce Willis." "I remain, poetically, completely in the dark."